SHE HATES ME? [Jonah Goldberg]

Ana Marie Cox hates me Ana according to an interview (transcribed by Cathy Seipp) and conducted by Mickey Kaus:

Mickey: Who do you hate?

Ana Marie (after a pause to think, and a comment that Bush is actually quite personable): I just can't stand Jonah Goldberg...

Mickey: Really? I think he's incredibly talented.

Ana Marie: Michelle Malkin...But these people are like cartoon characters.

Eventually they opened it up to questions from the audience, and someone said, "I'm a little surprised that with all the evil going on in Washington, the only people you can think of to hate are people most of us have never heard of."

I suppose I could get into a long diatribe about how it takes a lot of chutzpa for a potty-mouthed media creation like Wonkette to suggest she's an even remotely reliable judge of who to take seriously, but in reality I just don't care. On a personal level, I'm a bit surprised because our interactions had always been friendly. Oh well.

The one mildly interesting thing is that a questioner in the audience would know who Wonkette is but not who either me or Michelle Malkin are.

Long diatribe? No that would be admiting that it bugs you, a short paragraph makes it clear that it doesn't bother you in the slightest... honest!

I can picture it now; a single greasy tear slides down his doughy cheek at 7 in the morning. Stunned that someone who's actually met him doesn't like him. I myself have never met him and I'm pretty sure I'd rather spend my time sponge bathing naked lepers with an old J Cloth (and Q-Tip for those crevices) than be in the same room as him.

What I think is interesting is that the Doughy Pantsload (copyright Norbizness) doesn't wonder why, just a "She can't judge me!". But he doesn't care.

Really.

And that is mildly interesting, that college students have heard of the witty and hip Wonkette and not you or Michelle "Fascism Works For Me" Malkin's... if interesting means "Well no shit".

Maybe it's because Wonkette doesn't do grumpy old man dialogue like "potty mouth" and isn't a whiney toad? The kids tend to lean away from that sort of thing.

Tucson - A group of anti-war senior citizens calling themselves the "Tuscon Raging Grannies" say they want to enlist in the US Army and go to Iraq so that their children and grandchildren can come home.

Five members of the group - which is associated with the Women's International League for Peace and Freedom - are due in court on Monday to face trespassing charges after trying to enlist at a military recruitment centre last week.

Should get them grannies to pitch for Operation Yellow Elaphant.

But at this rate they should be able to sign up no matter what their age:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Faced with major recruiting problems sparked by troop deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Pentagon has asked Congress to raise the maximum age for U.S. military enlistees from 35 to 42 years old.

Rove/Libby Talking Points for Republican Activists

Rove and Libby did not betray top secret information to foreigners. They betrayed it to American reporters.

Betraying Top Secret information for political purposes is one of the most patriotic things an American citizen can do.

There were too many "non-official cover" agents working on weapons of mass destruction intelligence at the CIA. By betraying Plame, Rove and Libby forced the Agency to become leaner and meaner.

If a great American like Orrin Hatch can betray top secret information, so can Karl Rove and Scooter Libby.

Rove and Libby are good men. They once joined Supreme Court Nominee John G. Roberts in locating a missing white woman.

There is no truth to the rumor that Mr. Rove then ordered a "work up" on the woman to discover her vulnerabilities.

Joe Wilson, on the other hand, has never mentioned the problem of missing white women in any of his interviews.

The 75% of all Americans and the 71% of all Republicans who think that Rove should be fired if he leaked classified information are partisan Democrat hacks. If we have any Top Secret/No Foriegn classified information about them or their spouses, we should use it to destroy them.

The fact that the Administration prosecuted ex-DIA agent Jonathan Randel for leaking information classified at a lower level than Top Secret/No Foriegn, does not mean that Rove and Libby should receive similar treatment. Randel leaked information about a money launderer who was allied with the Administration. Libby and Rove betrayed a CIA agent for honorable reasons--her husband committed a treacherous act, he had embarrassed Our Leader.

From the General.

Ari going down too? (Via Atrios)

Prayer might be powerful, but that doesn't mean you can base an advertising campaign on its claimed miraculous results.

And a collection of crutches in a church back room is not rock-solid proof that prayer cures the disabled, the Solid Rock church has been told.

This was the ruling of the Advertising Standards Authority after the Johannesburg church claimed: "People are now getting healed of Aids or cancer, diabetics, broken bones, heart, back and many other problems are instantly healed in the name of Jesus Christ."

Until the church can produce irrefutable evidence to support its claims, it can no longer publish the advert, the ASA ruled.

JESUS ALSO WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU OF HIS DESIRE OF GOING INTO BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. JUST SEND HIM YOUR BANK AND PIN INFORMATION.

Have you ever wondered why so many gays and lesbians are involved in auto accidents?

um no...

Perhaps its because they are twice as apt to drive under the influence. 25% of homosexuals as compared to 14% of straights said that they drove under the influence of drugs or alcohol last year. Gays were more apt to drive impaired than straight men - 32% to 19%, and lesbians than straight women - 17% to 8%.

And you got those numbers where?

"Driving is a serious responsibility," said Dr. Paul Cameron, Chairman of the Colorado-based Family Research Institute, who just published the report in the peer-reviewed journal Psychological Reports. "Everybody on the road, not just the driver, is endangered by this self-centered and caviler behavior. This is further evidence that gays' devil-may-care attitude toward sex spills into other areas as well. As Shakespeare's Pericles warned, one sin 'another doth provoke.' In light of the many social harms of homosexuality, many documented in our analysis of this Centers for Disease Control study, the coming U.S. Supreme Court should overturn Lawrence v Texas, which gave constitutional protection to homosexual conduct. "

Yeah, yeah, we know, you're an idiot... where did you get those numbers?

Men were twice as apt to drive under the influence as women. But blacks were less apt than whites to do so - only 7% did so in the past year. Black men were less apt than white men (11% v. 19%) and black women less apt than white women (3% v. 8%).

Yes, yes, you're not racist, we get it, you think blacks are super, numbers man, where are they from?

"This blows a hole in the 'we endanger others because society doesn't fully accept us' argument," said Dr. Cameron who headed the three man team that published the study. "Disturbed people endanger others. This indifference to the wellbeing of others isn't due to discrimination. Blacks have been discriminated against for hundreds of years, and they behaved more responsibly than whites in this area."

Yeah that argument, I heard it... well never but then I don't have voices in my head screaming bollocks... now about those numbers... do we have a source? Is the three man team the source? Why am I thinking that these figures have been anally retrieved?

"This is one of the many findings that clue the public as to why the U. S. Centers for Disease Control has not broadcast the sex information from its 1996 study," said Dr. Cameron. If blacks, shunned by some segments of society, are less apt to drive under the influence, you can't sensibly excuse homosexuals on the grounds that they drink because they feel alienated. Homosexuality, drunken driving - both are dangerous choices for the actor and the society in which he performs."

So the CDC has not broadcast the sex information from its 1996 study? Muh? What study? Is that were these numbers are coming from? I scoured their site and if there is such a thing it ain't there.

Oh wait... this nonsense is by the Paul Cameron confirmed quacky whacky ass... never mind.

Fun and easy to blame for everything!

There are too many illegal immigrants in this country, and it's time for elected officials to do something about it, Columbia County Republicans are saying.

A resolution passed by the party's central committee last month blamed immigrants for placing a burden on the social welfare system, smuggling methamphetamine into the country and filling federal prisons.

snip

Although Tosh said he is concerned about Asian, Latino and Arab immigrants to the United States, he also emphasized that the resolution passed by his party does not single out any racial group.

Oh geez I guess you realized that you sounded like a racist lunatic...

"All of us who are Caucasian Americans are descendents of ... immigrants," he said. "But with legal aliens, you know who's here and that they're not some criminal that came from Mexico, escaped from jail there and came over here and is raping 5-year-old babies."

Yes no Caucasian American or legal immigrant criminals, certainly no drug smuggling baby rapers...

What crazy train did this lunatic get off of?

Meth is a huge problem in Oregon (and elsewhere) but it's nice to see the local band of wingnuts using it to whip up its racist base into a frenzy.

The Vatican newspaper has condemned Canada for legalizing same-sex marriage, a day after the Liberals' Civil Marriage Act became law.

"The distortion of God's plan for the family continues," the Vatican daily newspaper L'Osservatore Romano said Thursday. "In Canada, homosexual unions have become equal to marriage."

And for our next trick we're going to make the moon eat the sun!

Among the idolatrous altars the right now worships at in its rush to rescind the Enlightenment is the church of "Intelligent Design." According to the scripture of this religion, something as complex as the human eye could not have evolved on its own without the guidance of God (or God's equivalent, and, therefore, God) managing the process.

snip

A story: a person clearly troubled by the seeming irreconcilability of a good God and the world all around, once asked a Tanna -- one of the earliest rabbis and, clearly, a believer in intelligent design--why fruit rots. The reason, responded the sage, is so that produce merchants cannot hold on to their merchandise indefinitely, selfishly driving up the price.

And via Balloon Juice we have a first hand report on DumCon Con (AKA 2005 Mega Creation Conference) from The Panda's Thumb where Creationism and Inteligent Design are summed up so well:

What isn't humility is having a used car salesman give you a brief description of some complex system, conclude after five seconds' reflection that it could not have evolved, and then decide that only an omnipotent God could be responsible for such a critter. That's not humility, that's supreme arrogance. That's pride and sloth all wrapped up into one.

We know the universe to be a complex place and only the arrogant and lazy would think that it could be explained in a few pages of a book that has more plot holes and inconsistencies than a John Grisham movie adaptation produced by Jerry Bruckheimer.

Part 1 & Part 2 of the Panda's Thumb's great adventure amongst the primitives, one of those make you laugh make you cry and confirm that indeed evolution just isn't for everyone.

more dangerous than Iraq:

Cape Town - More people die each day on South Africa's roads than civilians are killed in Iraq as a result of the conflict in that country.

"Road accidents claimed 12 727 lives last year, an average of 36 lives a day, and cost South Africa a staggering R8.8bn (about R104m a day)," Democratic Alliance transport spokesperson Stuart Farrow said on Thursday.

Wow, when your roads are more dangerous than a war zone maybe it's time to get more safety villages.

From The Neoconservative Convergence

Through my tunnel of NeoCon vision I see nothing but good in the invasion of Iraq and the upcoming invasion of Syria.

What I find fascinating about the piece is that it doesn't mention WMD. Odd considering before that was one of Kraut's centerpieces back in the day:

Charlie June 16, 2003:

The inability to find the weapons is indeed troubling, but only because it means that the weapons remain unaccounted for and might be in the wrong hands. The idea that our inability to thus far find the WMDs proves that the threat was phony and hyped is simply false.

Charlie Oct 10th 2003

But the question of whether Saddam was still in the WMD business is no longer open. ``We have discovered dozens of WMD-related program activities,'' Kay testified, ``and significant amounts of equipment that Iraq concealed from the United Nations during the inspections that began in late 2002'' -- concealed, that is, from the hapless Hans Blix.

snip

Saddam was simply making his WMD program more efficient and concealable. His intent and capacity were unchanged.

Charlie January 30, 2004:

Until Bush got serious, threatened war and massed troops in Kuwait, the U.N. was headed toward loosening and ultimately lifting sanctions, which would have given Saddam carte blanche to regroup and rebuild his WMDs.

Charlie July 2005:

The war in Iraq has had a similar effect. Granted, there were no weapons of mass destruction found, which is going to hurt this administration.

Hurt... the administraion... not just them... Iraiqis Coalition soldiers if BushCo. were they only ones feeling the pain we'd probably be more in favor of the invasion.

Remarkable.

Are they stupid? Evil? Short attention spans? Some sort of combination of the above? And they scatch their heads and wonder "Why do they call us liars? Why don't they trust us? They must hate America!"

Yeah that must be it.

Authorities in the United States have busted a drug-running operation on the border of Washington state and British Columbia that allegedly used an underground tunnel to transport marijuana.

What is it with places called Columbia and drug smuggling any way?

I love the last bit:

White House drug czar John Walters once blamed the high potency of "B.C. Bud" in part for a rise in marijuana-related emergency room incidents.

I blithered about that bit of silliness here. (where I was very wrong about the smuggling BTW)

"Canada is exporting to us the 'crack of marijuana'," Walters said.

Yeah and no one is saying "thank you". Pretty rude if you ask me.

I wonder how long this nonsense is going to go on, it's Prohibition all over; Canadians providing the product and criminals getting rich.

Canada; equal rights, great weed and no land wars in Asia. Damn we have got to fit that stuff into the national anthem.

Five employees of the local branch of an insurance company have been arrested for putting up posters of terrorist Osama Bin Laden to advertise a new scheme, police said today.

The employees of ICICI Prudiential Life Insurance Company, in a bid to launch a new policy of the company named "Mission Jehad", had pasted posters of Laden and put up green flags at their office at Mall Road here, they said.

They had also exhibited hand bills with inflammatory slogans saying "Dear terrorist naya farman jaari (new order has been issued), ten maro milton ke saath branded shirt lejao (get a branded shirt with Milton after completing ten insurances) and "Be best terrorist in the group win reebock shoes".

After a group of BJP activists raised a protest against the posters, the company employees tried to burn them down to avoid arrest, they said.

Police later took five of them into custody, including the branch head Sanjeev Bhatia on charges of breach of peace and anti-national activity.

Condemning the act and expressing regrest, the ICICI Prudential said in a statement here it was an internal sales promotion activity adopted by its Kanpur team for which it had chosen an "inappropriate" theme.

It said the company had initiated an investigation into the matter and assured appropriate action against those involved.

You know I'm not sure I'd do business with an insurance company that solves their problems with fire.

Get out while you still can!

Tories are down even more in the polls:

The Liberal party has extended its advantage in Canada, according to a poll by Pollara Inc. 38 per cent of respondents would vote for the Liberals in the next federal election.

It's not that the Liberals are so great, they're not, it's not that they're honest or even competent, they're certainly not either, it's just that the Canadian wingnut faction has so infested the once respectable Progressive Conservative Party that we'd rather have incompetent crooks than a pack of GOP wannabes.

Some observers say:

"The problem isn't the leader, it is the party and its social policies," pollster Jean-Marc Léger said in an interview yesterday."The Conservatives have not shown they can be a credible alternative to the Liberals. Despite a full year of minority [Liberal] government, despite the sponsorship scandal, despite the fiery debate over the budget, the Conservatives have not made any inroads across Canada. In fact, they have lost some ground. And the problem isn't Stephen Harper."

No it's having a far right leadership making a big deal out of stuff like gay marriage (which most Canadians really don't care that much about beyond a shrug and a "Sure, why not? Not really my business eh?"). That far righty can be Harper, Day or whatever the next nutbar they're got ready to drop out of the Fundy snack machine. Until the Tories purge their Reform Party binge those numbers just ain't gonna change.

secret: (Via Oliver Willis)

A classified State Department memorandum central to a federal leak investigation contained information about CIA officer Valerie Plame in a paragraph marked "(S)" for secret, a clear indication that any Bush administration official who read it should have been aware the information was classified, according to current and former government officials.

Oooops.

"The Iraq War is Over and the Winner is . . . Iran"

' the Bush administration cannot have been filled with joy when Iraqi Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari and eight high-powered cabinet ministers paid an extremely friendly visit to Tehran this week. The two governments went into a tizzy of wheeling and dealing of a sort not seen since Texas oil millionaires found out about Saudi Arabia. Oil pipelines, port access, pilgrimage, trade, security, military assistance, were all on the table in Tehran. All the sorts of contracts and deals that U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney had imagined for Halliburton, and that the Pentagon neoconservatives had hoped for Israel, were heading instead due east. Jaafari's visit was a blow to the Bush administration's strategic vision, but a sweet triumph for political Shiism.

And of course Al Qeada is a pretty big winner too, they're getting fresh recruits and the perfect place to train them. In the next decade they'll be sending them out into the world just like they did after Afghanistan.

They should all send thank you notes to BushCo. "Couldn't have done it without you! Thanks! You really are the best Great Satan ever!"

And in Iraq the beating goes on:

Two suicide car-bombings, along with a string of other attacks in and around Baghdad today, have left 14 people dead, police and army officials said.

Millions of Iraqis remain determined to continue that mission, and violent extremists are desperate to stop them.

Yes, yes we know, desperate.

I love this next bit:

Yet despite their headline-grabbing mass murders, the extremists are failing.

Failing at what? Grabbing headlines by mass murdering? They have some other plan? They're terrorists, they're generating terror, do you see the connection?

Well into year three of this cakewalk and I can't believe they're still trying to milk this bull, you'd think they notice folks just ain't buying it anymore:

"Do you approve or disapprove of the way George W. Bush is handling the situation in Iraq?"

Approve 35
Disapprove 57
Unsure 8

"When it comes to the war in Iraq, do you think that removing Saddam Hussein from power was or was not worth the number of U.S. military casualties and the financial cost of the war?"

Worth It 44
Not Worth It 49
Depends 4
Unsure 3

"And do you feel more confident or less confident that the war in Iraq will come to a successful conclusion?"

More Confident 36
Less Confident 55
Depends/ Some of Both 5
Unsure 4

And all Michael Moore's fat fault no doubt, certainly not the architects and executioners of this war. If only people didn't point out what incompetent fools they are then everything would be just fine.

(insert Santorum joke here)

Animal control workers tried just about everything -- even some unconventional tactics.

Yeah I'd say that's unconventional, full story here.

And feel free to come up with better captions in the comments.

This is racism:

The USA's most notorious and active neo-Nazi organisation, the National Alliance, has today announced a new videogame which has already been released, published by the racist group's publishing arm, 'Resistance Records'. The firm also publishes 'white power' music stateside. The sickening new game is apparently a first-person shooter, dubbed 'Ethnic Cleansing', and makes the furore surrounding games like GTA look like child's play.

Choosing between a skinhead or a Ku Klux Klan member (I kid you not), players will roam the streets of a city disturbingly reminiscent of New York, using weapons like a noose to murder black and Asian people, described as 'sub-humans' - and their "Jewish Masters". The game ends with a boss fight against Ariel Sharon, armed with a rocket launcher, and when defeated the Israeli PM reportedly cries, "Filthy white dog, you have destroyed thousands of years of planning."

Like it would be a challenge to hit Sharon's fat ass, so I'm sure the game play is as hella-weak as the graphics and they want $14.95 for it? Good luck with that guys, obviously the whole master race thing doesn't include coding and design. The Jews fault no doubt.

This is not racism:

A candy being marketed in Quebec is leaving some people with a sour taste in their mouths.

The label on Sloche strawberry-flavoured gummie spiders sold at Couche-Tard convenience stores in Quebec has upset members of the province's black community.

The package features a cartoon of a black man with a gold tooth, earrings and a scowl. On his head is a giant spider whose legs resemble dreadlocks. Consumers, such as Laurraine LeBlanc, argue that the caricature is insulting and reinforces derogatory stereotypes.

snip

"Companies have a corporate responsibility as to what they are selling so we have to hold them responsible because not only they're targeting these products to children, but children don't have the ability to form their own opinions. So a picture like that only reinforces the prejudices that they already have of black people."

Yeah I'm so sick of that black people have giant spiders on their head canard. Kids will eat the candy and then think "If I get too close to a black guy the spider on his head will bite me!" then he's off to join the Klan.

Oh and kids can form all sorts of opinions, you get the last copy of the new Spongebob Squarepants DVD and you can get a whole pack expressing them as you run to the check out at Future Shop*.

Yes the Candy maker sat around one day spit-balling ideas "Hey you know how we all despise blacks? Let's make a candy that expresses just that! I'm thinking something gummy, the confection of hate!"

However I am enamored with the idea of calling someone a "Couche-Tard".

*For the record I called "Dib!" and "no take backs!" and anything you may have heard otherwise is a filthy filthy lie.

Cuz I haven't in awhile:

Well pretty obvious what's happening here; God has sent a wind down to rip the faux Potter cover off of the Bible just as a soldier of the People’s Republic of Potter walks by because if there’s one thing the Lord can’t stand is a liar and hypocrite. Little Ping will be sent to the Muggle’s Reeducation Camp for a long, long time.

And check it out, Faithmouse is getting the Jungle Fever, she’s a mouse, he’s a bear, how on earth are they going to make it work? Her hundreds of brothers and sisters will never understand and his parents will just want to eat her. Omnivorous / rodent relationships never work out, I sense this will all end badly.

OTTAWA -- One of the most raucous debates in Canadian history last night resulted in a vote that made Canada the fourth country to sanction same-sex marriage.

The Senate erupted in a loud cheer as it adopted the Liberal government's Bill C-38, which will give gay and lesbian couples the right to marry in courthouses and city halls across the country.

The 47-21 vote came after years of court battles and debate that divided families, religious groups and even political allies.

The final word in the debate came from a Liberal senator who read to the hushed chamber an e-mail received from a Yukon constituent.

"You have no idea what a difference it makes to the human spirit to know that you are treated equally under the law," said Ione Christensen, the 71-year-old senator from Whitehorse.

Hey America allow us to be your gay guinea pig; if after a few years nothing changes here like:

• the divorce rates hold at their sacred institution rate of aboot 45%
• the rivers stay water rather than blood based
• our children continue to be born gay rather than adopting the lifestyle because it just is so darn hip these days now that the government approves
• all other laws remain as intact and we don't turn into a Mad Maxesque society banding together to fight off roaming hordes of gay married folk

Then maybe, I dunno, you could give this whole equality thing for everybody a whirl?

“I think it’s also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn.”

George W. Bush criticizing President Clinton for not setting a timetable for exiting Kosovo in June of 1999.

“It doesn’t make any sense to have a timetable. You know, if you give a timetable, you’re — you’re conceding too much to the enemy.”

George W. Bush Defending his policy in Iraq last month.

(From UnSpecified Chatter)

Via The Poor Man:

White House deputy chief of staff Karl Rove did not disclose that he had ever discussed CIA officer Valerie Plame with Time magazine reporter Matthew Cooper during Rove’s first interview with the FBI, according to legal sources with firsthand knowledge of the matter.

The omission by Rove created doubt for federal investigators, almost from the inception of their criminal probe into who leaked Plame’s name to columnist Robert Novak, as to whether Rove was withholding crucial information from them, and perhaps even misleading or lying to them, the sources said. […]

But investigators were also skeptical of Novak’s claim that his use of the term “operative” was a journalistic miscue because it appeared to provide legal protection for whoever his source or sources were. And although Novak’s and Rove’s accounts of their conversations regarding Plame were largely consistent, they appeared to be self-serving.

Isn't that what they nailed Martha Stewart on? Not the crime (which in Martha's case wasn't all that bad, more stupid) but the lying to the investigators? Could that be the shot that brings his bloated ass down?

I've always wanted to ad Balloon Juice to my blog roll, John Cole is a sane conservative and I've agreed with or at least listened to and though on a great deal of what he's said. But he had a link to Little Groin Goofballs and I just can't stand the thought of my blog roll touching a blog roll that touches that hive of dumb and uncivilitiy. If one is going to link to LGF it should only be to say how fucking stupid they are.

Balloon Juice has undergone a layout change and the Late German Facists seem to have been removed.

Also adding Mykeru cuz he has the scariest logo I have ever seen.

Seriously, it just freaks me right out of my tree.

And plus he's all smart and stuff.

And if you haven't noticed Kyle Williams is back with A Blog:

Ah, it looks like the president will be announcing his SCOTUS pick tonight. Is there really any hope that he's going to nominate anyone but the pick of the parasitic GOP establishment? I mean, really, does anyone believe that, other than the people on Free Republic?

continue:

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - Gunmen assassinated a Sunni Arab member of a committee drafting Iraq's constitution Tuesday, another blow to U.S. and Iraqi efforts to draw members of the disaffected community away from the insurgency and into the political process.

---

A British-American advocacy group puts the civilian cost of the Iraq war at about 25,000 lives.

---

DEAD SEA, Jordan, July 19 (Reuters) - Iraq urged the international community on Tuesday to deliver immediately on its aid pledges and warned more delays would further destabilise the country and threaten global security.

---

BAGHDAD -- Gunmen killed at least 24 police officers, soldiers and government workers in Iraq on Monday, and an Iraqi general said that about 50 suspected insurgents were captured in the first days of a new security operation in Baghdad.

---

Baghdad - At least 31 people were killed on Tuesday in Iraq violence, including 13 slaughtered when insurgents ambushed a bus carrying workers to a United States army base, said police and military officials.

---

The slaughter of hundreds of civilians by suicide bombers shows that a "genocidal war" is threatening Iraq, Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, the country's most influential Shia cleric, warned yesterday.

And it's splashed out of Iraq:

ISTANBUL, July 19 (Reuters) - Turkey called on Tuesday for Iraq and its neighbours to tighten border security as Ankara tries to curb an upsurge in Kurdish guerrilla violence over the past year. Interior Minister Abdulkadir Aksu said Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK) guerrillas armed with explosives were crossing the border from Iraq and staging sabotage attacks in Turkey.

Ironically the Kurdish north is the most peaceful place in Iraq (relatively speaking of course), I wonder how many PKK attacks the Turks will suffer before changing that? Could Bush demand with a straight face that Turkey not chase the terrorist into Iraq? Isn't that the plan? Making Iraq the central war on terror? What's one more pack of killers?

So I get a call:

“Hi, I got your name from so and so, you do web sites?”

“Yeah.”

“Well we have a tournament coming up and we need a new one for it.”

“Well I can help with that.”

“I’m making up the budget right now…”

At this point my eyes go all Scrooge McDuck; the pupils contract to dollar signs… oh please say it, please say those words I love to hear…

“… and I’m not sure how much to allot for the site’s cost…”

I take out my silver plated super-sonic goug-o-rific quote maker and start its warm-up cycle.

“Well,” I say wiping some drool off the phone, “it depends how big the site it, the graphics it needs, how many pages, animation… that sort of thing.”

“Well it’s got about 8 sections, we need new graphics and we don’t have a lot right now…”

A vision of a 21” Dell 2005FP wide screen dances through my head.

“… the current site is kind of bare and I've been told very out of date…”

The Dell stops dancing and settles down in the middle of my head for a long stay as it displays various scenes from Battlefield 2. “Soon,” it whispers, “we’ll be together as we should be then your enemies will pay, oh yes.”

“Well,” I say, “Let me take a look at it.”

She gives me the URL and I go take a look.

Fuck.

Charity.

Tournament to raise money for charity.

AIDS orphans in Africa.

Millions of ‘em.

Crap.

The Dell tries its best, shows DVDs in wide screen, picture within picture! Porn within porn it cries as it slowly fades to the pipe dream section of my brain.

“Uh look I’m pretty free with time; I think I can do this pro-bono.”

The Dell screams like the witch from Oz and vanishes.

Days I wish I was Alex P. Keaton.

Karma you better be paying attention you bitch you!

UPDATE: They're insisting on paying a $100.00 honorarium which I will spend on something completely stupid like an iPod cozy or an ice sculptured of a Rock 'em Sock 'em robot.

In DVD's I have of the classic Max Fleischer Superman cartoon's, Lois Lane is depicted as the embodiment of American femininity as she carries herself simultaneously with spunk and lady-like decorum.

Yeah those were great... um in 1940. I must admit I do like a lady who can carry her spunk.

As the foremost expression of American popular culture, the changes in Superman over the years can be used to map the extent of the nation's moral decline.

Oh lord love a duck... you can't be serious. Yet another pop culture moral decliner? Is it just me or have there been so many of these things that by this point we should all be in the mud having unatrual congress with clams?

For example, in the current Smallville series, the females of this subset of the DC comics universe no longer adorn themselves like the classy dames of the 1940's or even with the elegant look of Margot Kidder or Annette O'Toole in the movies of the 1980's but rather drink and whore around with the best of them all the while leaving little to the imagination as to the appearance of their bellies and lower backs.

Why can't we go back to the innocent 80s with wholesome shows like Miami Vice and 20 Minute Workout? (Now those were some classy dames) BELLIES AND BACKS?!?!! Holy shit! What next? Ankles? Napes of necks? Coming soon Small Amishville... "How does Clark get the butter churned so quickly?"

Now it seems the saga of this hero flying high for truth, justice, and the American way might be crash landing into perdition as a Scifi.com scifiwire story seems to indicate that Lois Lane might have an out of wedlock child in the upcoming film.

So... she should get an abortion? Hmmm... would it be possible to abort a superbaby?

If this is what now passes as upright American womanhood nowadays, we might be so bad off that even Superman is unable to save us.

Save us Supermen! Woman have bellies and backs! They make us poor weak men think bad bad thoughts. Use your heat vision to make them dress like Susan B. Anthony.

Frankly, not even Superman should be expected to take responsibility for another man's indiscretions. Having been unable to exercise restraint in these matters, the best Ms. Lane should be able to hope for is a second-tier costumed adventurer such as Reed Richards, whose already had a child himself, or his brother-in-law the Human Torch, whose already been divorced.

Man these fictional comic book characters sure lead fucked up lives. Ms. Lane cannot be forgiven for her lack of restraint and the father of her fictional child? Well he's just a man, we can't help ourselves, one glimpse of belly and that's all she wrote! Forgivness a-go-go! Of course I'd lose my comic book geek cred if I didn't point out that Ms. Lane doesn't exist in the same universe as Reed Richards.

Superman is superman, after all. He can have any woman he wants.

He can't have nuns!

Why should he settle for one that's already been marked as someone else's property and on top of that one that treats him like bilge when he's disguised as Clark Kent?

Marked as someone els.... I can't even finish it.... holy crap this guy is a freak. And as for bilge... I'm thinking someone's having a high school flashback. It's just a comic book Sparky, not meant to be taken personally.

If it was the other way around and someone ignored Wonder Woman when she had a little librarian outfit on but threw themselves at her drooling all over her when she stripped down to that bosomy patriotic number she pours herself into, fans would insist she move on to someone that cared more for her as person with mind and feelings and all that other sensitivity blather. Why doesn't Superman deserve the same? Don't tell me broads aren't into looks as much a dudes.

Okaaay... sounds like someone's been doing way too much research into this.... bosomy patriotic number?

If filmmakers are going to keep insisting that Superman must continue to change in order to reflect the times in which we live, one wonders how many more decades will pass until a version is released where Luthor is the hero and Superman the villain if the Man of Tomorrow continues to insist upon imposing his standards upon common criminals and would be galactic conquerors.

Hmmm Luthor the Hero and Superman the villian? Already been done, that's it, it's over, America is doomed, cats living with dogs, etc. etc.

As in regards to my columns daring to question Harry Potter and certain ethical undertones of the Star Wars universe, some (even many so-called "Conservatives") will dismiss me as a lunatic and a greater danger to the world than the most wicked of supervillians.

Well lunatic seems spot on but the only danger you present is getting protein all over some fanboy's mint copy of Wonder Woman.

Those that do should not go crying when their children come home practicing witchcraft or as teenage parents if we are to now smile upon these practices as wholesome in what should be the innocent realms of the imagination.

Hear that parents? If Lois Lane doesn't abort her baby your kids will start building gingerbread houses and eating lost German children!

Before the Internet, what did these people do? Wander the streets yelling this stuff at lamp posts?

UPDATE: It's Superman day in the Blogoshere:

Did Lex Luthor Out Superman?

(Via Xoverboard)

The suicide bombings in London only reinforce the need for Canadian soldiers to hunt down the "murderers and scumbags" sowing terror from Afghanistan, says Canada's chief of defence staff.

Gen. Rick Hillier warned that unless Canada helps bring stability to Afghanistan by rooting out terrorists during a mission this month, "the probability of that instability coming home to roost directly or indirectly are enormously increased.

No, no, we must invade a country that doesn't have terrorists and then create an environment where terrorists can recruit and train and then kill them.

Going after the terrorists where they're actually at? What kind of bizarro foreign policy is that?

George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States is a complete and total fucking liar!

The only way I could be more shocked is if I were in a bathtub full of salt water with a plugged in toaster heating up a live electric eel during a thunderstorm playing golf with a 18 foot driver made out of copper.

And then only slightly.

UPDATE:

Tom Tomorrow:
One simple question for Rove's defenders

If everything he did was aboveboard and beyond reproach, why has the administration consistently lied about it for two years?

Uh let's see if I can chanel a wingnut's answer in a Napoleon Dynamite voice (that's what most of 'em sound like to me):

Duh! It was a matter of national security okay!?? And they aren't supposed to talk about stuff like that to reporters.. gawd! You're so stupid!

UPDATE DEUX:

Just a quarter of Americans think the White House is fully cooperating in the federal investigation of the leak of a CIA operative's identity, a number that's declined sharply since the investigation began. And three-quarters say that if presidential adviser Karl Rove was responsible for leaking classified information, it should cost him his job.

Could this be it? Could this be, finally, something that actually hurts BushCo.?

SEABROOK — Cathy Zinante laughs about the woman who spotted the Virgin Mary in her grilled cheese sandwich. She has her doubts about the guy on eBay claiming the Lord is imprinted in his busted baseball.

But when it comes to her Jesus rock, Zinante is dead serious.

snip

“Every day I look at this rock and I see different things — every day — and it is just so fascinating to me,” she said, sitting at her kitchen table in Seabrook beside a well-worn Bible and a glass bowl filled with rocks of different shapes and colors.

Seeing divine images in inanimate objects is nothing new.

“Paranormal investigator” Joe Nickell said humans have a tendency to find patterns in randomness. Science calls examples of this “simulacra.”

snip

Zinante found her little piece of Jesus on a Friday the 13th, two days after she prayed to God to send her a rock that could “make lots of money.”

At first she saw only a llama in the rock. Later it looked like a camel with a palm tree in the background. But later that week Zinante held it up to the light and saw what she believes is an image of the Son of God.

“It just hit me; it was like, ‘Wow, this is Jesus,’” she recalled. “It’s just an amazing rock.”

snip

The longer she looks, the more she sees.

Yeah, I bet she does.

From "Good news from Iraq, part 31":

"Chaos and violence" might have indeed "consumed" Iraqis' lives over the past two years, but prior to that their lives were hardly examples of normalcy. The difference is that back then they didn't even have books for consolation.

I see now, the invasion was all about getting the Iraqis some good reads not "WMD", or "democracy" or "central front on the war on terror"

And good timing too, after "170 in Iraq killed by suicide attacks in last week Iraqis are going to need some escapism and now they can all get copies of the new Harry Potter book! Mom's been blown to pieces? Son went too fast to the check point? Haven' seen Dad in weeks since he signed up to be a cop? Don't let all that so called "chaos and violence" (the quotes I think signify that these are just buzz words that the liberal MSM use to trick people into thinking that Iraq is all chaotic and violent but it really isn't... except for the people being randomly blown up) get you down! What better way to consol yourself than to catch up on another year at Hogwart's? (or worths, I don't know I don't read the damn things)

And what other good news is there?

Lastly, improving security situation is having one unusual side-effect - it's getting easier to buy alcohol:

Faisal Faris’ cart on al-Haifa Street looks like any other boiled beans stall, but it is actually a cover for a far more serious trading operation. A secret drawer hides Faris’ real commodity – alcohol...

But even though they still cannot openly peddle their goods, alcohol sellers say business has been improving in the last few months.

Faris said that Iraqis were buying more alcohol because the security situation in his area has improved, since Iraqi forces cracked down on the insurgents. Now that militant activity has died down, people are less afraid of being attacked if they are found to be drinking.

Allright! If you can't read a book because the electricity is out you can get good and liquored, what better way to chase the "my family is all dead and I'm probably next" blues away than a cracked cup of rotgut? That's provided one of the many Taliban wannabe don't catch you. Take consolation that maybe they won't gun you down, just beat the living shit out of you:

Police say they have no strong leads, but it is an open secret in the port city why they died. They worked as prostitutes and their killers are widely believed to be one of the city's armed militias who in recent months have become increasingly violent in their campaign to enforce a strict interpretation of the social code of Islam.

snip

"They started hitting the girls and shooting against the walls and breaking the furniture," he said. "They brought boxes of vodka and beer from outside to smash them. One of the girls ran outside and she had stones thrown at her. Everyone was too frightened to help."

snip

Pictures of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, the leader of the 1979 Iranian revolution, have become a common sight on street corners. Shops selling musical instruments have been bombed after warnings that musicians were the "servants of Satan."

Stores selling DVDs report that groups of men inspect their wares to ensure it contains no items considered too provocative.

The British, who are responsible for the security of the sector, have refused to intervene, saying it is a domestic political and law and order issue.

Man that is some crazy democratic freedom they get going on there!

as predicted by the Muppet Show:

Maybe that's why the Freepers never quite seem to get it, they don't read the whole thing. They just go a sentence or two, get sleepy and forget to read the rest.

Example; on a "White House Denials in CIA Leak Probe" at Free Republic we see this comment:

To: ARCADIA

"So did Rove leak Plame's name to me, or tell me she was covert? No." -- Matt Cooper, TIME reporter

4 posted on 07/17/2005 2:34:38 PM PDT by CheezyD
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies ]

Well holy crap, that would pretty much end the whole thing right? So why are people still going on about it.... could there be more to the quote?

No!

Yes!<